First of all, thank you for working on screenplay translation! This is a great help to the project! ^__^
About the traced scene.
The source file is structured well, I was surprised to see your method of coloring black lines. That was new to me.
The first thing what I see is an almost complete absence of sharp corners.
01.jpg [ 42.65 KiB | Viewed 3291 times ]
Try to catch the textile flow. Don't try to make whole area with a single shape. Use muiltiple of them! Connect vertices with "Link" or "Link to BLine" functions.
For example, jacket could be represented with a few regions. I drawing one of them trying to follow spline flow between sharp corners. Usually shapes between sharp corners could be represented with a smooth and simple shapes.
02.jpg [ 39.96 KiB | Viewed 3292 times ]
After that play with width. This allows to add some depth. (Note: Generally in anime variable line width is not usual. But here we dealing with almost static image and I want try to make a little candy from it. ^_^)
04.jpg [ 41.18 KiB | Viewed 3293 times ]
After that Im tracing other parts. On the picture below shown what I use transparent mode to fit line width and "Link to Bline" to connect regions together.
03.jpg [ 37.37 KiB | Viewed 3297 times ]
Here's three regions almost completely composing the left part of jacket:
05.jpg [ 22.99 KiB | Viewed 3299 times ]
05-ivan-morevna.sifz [39.61 KiB]
Downloaded 130 times